Friday, January 28, 2011

A Step Further Outside the Comfort Zone

This coming Sunday I plan to visit a Church of Christ, Scientist.  I really have no idea what to expect as far as a church service goes.  The following link is the only source I have used to educate myself on the religion itself:

Christian Science

Based on the information available on this site this is the basic knowledge I'll have when I walk in on Sunday:

1. Christian Scientists believe in one true God and Jesus Christ as Savior.

2. Christian Scientists believe in physical and mental healing through prayer alone.  They believe that we have the answer to every human problem at our fingertips through communication with God.

I believe the church I'll be visiting is relatively small so hopefully I will get a very personal example of what Christian Scientists do for praise, worship and religious teaching on a weekly basis.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Church of St. Vincent de Paul - Stirling, NJ

           After this past Sunday I realized how gingerly I kicked off this project by going to the church I grew up in and then a church that my parents have chosen to go to because of how similar it is in method and belief to the first.  

            I wasn’t stepping out of my comfort zone.

            The best way I can think to put it is that I felt comfortable in the past two churches in the same way someone would feel comfortable revisiting their high school.  You don’t feel at home anymore but at least you can wrap yourself up in the comfort that comes with simple familiarity.

            Comfort of that sort wasn’t mine when I visited The Church of St. Vincent de Paul.


            I can’t say I didn’t know what to expect.  I have been to Catholic mass before.  In fact, the most recent time was for midnight mass just this past Christmas.  I’d never been to midnight mass before but it sounded like just the kind of tradition I ought to be jealous of and start cashing in on, Catholic or not.  But this isn’t about midnight mass.  It’s about this past Sunday when I drove to Stirling and walked into St. Vincent de Paul.

            There was organ music playing and the acoustics were great.  The chapel had high ceilings and impressive stained glass windows with abstract art that looked heavenly without being forward enough to try to directly represent what “heavenly” might actually look like.  People slowly filed into the wooden pews and took their seats silently.  Noise was kept to a very low hum of murmurs and suppressed coughs.  The reverence was palpable

            But for me, something was missing.  And while this next part might get me in trouble I’d have to say that I could sum that something up in one word: warmth.

            And the rest of the hour that I spent in my pew felt like a rehearsal for a play I wasn’t acting in.  Quite literally, I didn’t have any of the lines.  One woman lead praise worship which consisted of traditional hymns.  When she raised her hand, palm up, I didn’t know that it was my cue to join or repeat.  I was always one step behind whenever it was time to stand, sit or kneel on the prayer benches (please excuse me if I use incorrect terminology … I referred to the Eucharist as a “cracker” to my boyfriend, whose family is Catholic, and his head spun as if I’d slapped him across the face.)  That’s not to mention the times when the congregation spoke in unison words I had no access to as well as Communion which a page in the praise book clearly told me I was not to participate in.

            As a newcomer, I actually felt left out.  

            And in my opinion, that’s awful.  Any place I go where I feel so thoroughly left out is not a place I’m likely to want to return to voluntarily.  I understand that as I experience different churches there will be varying degrees of openness toward newcomers.  It just occurred to me the other day that I will at some point be ending up at a Jehovah’s Witnesses Kingdom Hall.  I doubt I’ll be able to make it in and out of there anonymously.

            I guess I have plenty of time to discover exactly what degree of openness I find appropriate and … comfortable.


            The sermon, or homily (there’s one term I do know) was about ten minutes.  I thought that if I couldn’t identify with the ceremonial method of the Catholic church I might at least find some truth in the message I was going to hear.  The message turned out to be one that only the most hardened criminals could disagree with.  The visiting priest spoke on kindness.  The congregation was told to look into a mirror and only then could we discover what it meant to be truly kind.  I believe it was meant to be an abstract spin-off of the golden rule.

            So there was truth in the message.  But there was no substance.  Nothing I could latch onto.  Nothing I could sink my teeth into.  Nothing I could ARGUE about with anyone.  Nothing that could challenge me or make me question.  Nothing I could bring home with me and chew on all day.  You get the point.

            And here’s where I stopped myself and wondered whether or not I am sounding hypocritical.  The past two churches I went to certainly addressed very challenging topics and I wasn’t satisfied with that.

            Maybe I should break it down in TWO again.

            I want truth.  AND I want a challenge.

            Because this can’t just be a search for truth.  It has to be a search for truth in the form of a continuous learning experience.  I disagreed with a lot of what was said at Millington and Stonecrest but they really did get me to think about a few things.  At St. Vincent de Paul this past Sunday I couldn’t possibly disagree with the broad concept that we should be kind.  (It really was that general.  It was a directive, without any specifications, examples or nods to how hard this directive could be in the face of, say, the woman who cut me off the other day and then gave ME the finger.)  I digress.  While I agreed that we ought to be kind, I also didn’t feel as if I had learned a single thing.  I felt just a little numb.

            But I want my brain to be buzzing when I leave church.  And ideally, maybe even my heart too.

           
            

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Some Musings

First of all, thank you to everyone who has been reading and visiting my blog lately.  I hope you are enjoying it so far and will be coming back for more.  Please feel more than free to leave comments or questions on the site.  I am very, very open to dialogue about this project.  I'm sure there are those of you who agree with some of the things I say as well as those of you who don't.  Of course that's what I expected and I'd really like to get some conversations going.

That said, this is just a brief update.  The project is still a newborn and has some direction to take.  I certainly do not want to leave my readers hanging for an entire 7 days every week for a new church review post so I will definitely be posting in between.  The direction these in between posts are going to take is something the newborn has to grow into.  And they will vary.  If I'm going to a church that I feel could use some background research, I will throw that up here so that everyone's in tune with me before the visit.  If I have any new insight from my own personal journey I might stick you with some more personal diary-type entries about my Thoughts and Feelings (heh heh.)  If I have anything I forgot to mention about a previously visited church I might add that as well.

But for right now I want to inform my readers more about the intended attitude behind my actual church blogs and how I plan on keeping it as fair as a subjective one-shot review can be.

I can break it down in TWO:

I want to be as respectful as possible.

AND

I want to be as honest as possible.

If I ever appear to be lacking in either of these areas I assure you it is unintentional and I apologize.  In keeping with these goals I have decided to inform every church I visit about the blog the day after I visit and let them know what I have said here: that I am not just open to but itching for dialogue about what I'm doing here.  

I don't want to hide anything from everyone.

Tomorrow morning I'll be attending a Catholic mass.  The place is yet to be determined.  But definitely Catholic this time.

Stay tuned.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Stonecrest Community Church - Warren, NJ

            Money.  There’s a topic that most people don’t feel very comfortable discussing.  Turn the discussion into a sermon in which the pastor challenges his congregation to give More Money (using detailed statistics to show that that very congregation is not giving Enough Money based on what he assumes they must be making in order to live in relative comfort) and you've upped the ante.

            I thought I’d hit on the sermon least likely to attract a newcomer last week.

            This past Sunday, January 16, I went to Stonecrest Community Church in Warren, NJ.  Located in an old business building originally home to a bank, the facility sprawls throughout two floors with plenty of space for prayer groups, Sunday school classes and any other communal needs.  I attended with my parents, who have gone a handful of times in the past.  If I had been alone or with anyone who hadn’t previously been to the church, it is likely that I would have been noticed and approached as a newcomer.  As it was, however, it is unfair for me to critique the church’s approach toward a newcomer except to observe what I think their method might have been. 

            At Stonecrest everyone wears a nametag. 

            A board is displayed right outside the sanctuary on which nametags of people who have visited (and the goal as I understand it is to find all newcomers) and those who regularly attend are attached.  The effect is that Stonecrest is the church where everybody knows your name… and what Sundays you do and do not attend.  I am unaware if people whose nametags are not removed for an extended period of time are contacted or whether or not they are eventually just not listed anymore.

            Service was scheduled to start at 11:00.  Worship songs probably started around this time (the band was playing when we arrived a little late) but there seemed to be no rush for anyone to be on time.  I explored the grounds of the building before entering the sanctuary and still stood through three worship songs.  The lights were turned almost completely down with only spotlights focused on the worship leaders.  Anyone entering at will could do so inconspicuously. 

            Then the music stopped and the lights went on.

             An associate pastor said a few words of greeting and introduced a young woman to speak in representation of First Choice Women's Resource Center.  By the end of her presentation I would guess that about half the room was in tears.  She used a personal anecdote about what got her started with First Choice in order to go through an explanation of what the center’s mission is and what the congregation could do to contribute.  This woman helped her best friend make the decision not to abort her accidental pregnancy.  She coached her through the embarrassment of disappointing her strictly conservative family by admitting her mistake.  She was there every step of the way. 
         
   Then she projected a picture of her best friend’s daughter, now four years old, onto the four large screens behind the stage.  “Can you imagine the world without this precious girl in it?” she asked.

            I honestly don’t remember exactly how Pastor Brent Haggerty segued from abortion to tithes.  He did second the woman’s motion for the congregation to become involved in the war against abortion in any way possible.  But the topic at hand was … Money.

            Malachi 3:6-10

            Why does God accuse the descendants of Jacob of robbing Him?  They were not tithing the commanded 10% of their income.

            Pastor Brent was one of the most charismatic pastors I’ve ever listened to.  He held my attention and did not let go.  He was convicted and it showed.

            He introduced the sermon by asking a fifth grade girl to come onto stage to participate in a demonstration.  They sat down at a small table with miniature chairs designed for her size and she warmed to Pastor Brent as he picked fun at himself for how silly he looked in his little chair.  Then he opened a bag of sour gummy bears and asked her if she knew how to share.  And upon her proud acknowledgement that she had, in fact, learned this skill from mommy and daddy, he asked her to demonstrate how she would share this bag of candy with him.  She divided the pile into what looked like two equal shares.  Pastor Brent helped her define that this method meant “one for you, one for me” then praised her warmly, told her how loved she was and sent her off with an entire bag of her own (to share or not share as she wished.)

            I suppose the type of person who can always predict the end of movies could predict the intent of this planted demonstration and how it would tie things together in the end.  But I’m not that type of person.  And being pleasantly surprised every time is better anyway … isn’t it?  Isn’t it?? 

            Anyway, I won’t go into the actual meat of the sermon.  I think the second demonstration at the miniature table, which acted as the sermon’s conclusion, summed everything up.

            This time an adult from the audience was called to participate in a demonstration.  Then two large men were squeezed into the little pink chairs.

            Pastor Brent asked his volunteer to be so kind as to allow him to play the part of God while this man played a mortal.  The man assented.  Pastor Brent pulled twenty single dollar bills from his pocket and said that He was going to share this wealth.  It came from Him.  It is His to share as He sees fit.  But in a voice saturated with loving generosity Pastor Brent laid one bill in front of himself.  “One for me.”  Then counted “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine for you.” 

God's Method of Sharing
            
          At one point the screens at the back of the stage projected the actual numbers of offerings collected from the church during 2010.  That is, the number of people that gave between such and such amount of dollars during that year.  (ie: 34 individual households or people gave between 1 and 2 thousand for the year.)  Pastor Brent pointed out very bluntly that he doubted anyone sitting in that room was surviving off only $10-20,000/year.  Especially combined income households.  He pointed which anonymous numbers he thought were tithing and those he thought were robbing God.  Although he wasn't being too harshly judgmental (despite the enormity of an accusation such as stealing from the Creator of the Universe) ... the numbers in black and white on the projector screens were enough to make me squirm.  And I'm The Newcomer.

            The challenge to stop skimping on tithing was very direct.  He told the congregation to “test God.”  For the next 8 weeks, test God.  Give exactly 10% and see God pour out “so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it” (Malachi.)

            Concerns?  Yes, a few.  And what I didn’t mention before in relation to the church’s approach toward newcomers is that they did announce a meet and greet over coffee to be held in the lobby directly after the service.  Newcomers or people with any questions were invited to voice concerns there.  But while I should have attended this meeting I wanted to get home to finish a few things before work.

            What I would have asked would have been:

            Is it appropriate to “test God?”  If so, when?  In this particular verse in Malachi, God asks his people to test him but I vaguely recall another part of the Bible demanding that people NOT test God.

            Is there anywhere in the Bible that specifies where the 10% tithing should go?  Pastor Brent seemed to assume that those giving a small amount to the church were under-tithing.  Could they have been tithing to ministries such as First Choice in conjunction with their church offerings?

            For those who do live on a bare minimum yearly income, does the same rule apply?  Who takes the blame if there isn’t enough food?

            In what form do God’s blessings come and how can they be recognized as a direct result of tithing appropriately?

            Since I didn’t get to ask these questions I’ll just open them up to discussion.  I certainly have a hard time believing that anyone should feel obligated to give an exact percentage of their income in tithes or in any kind of charitable giving.  Giving is one of those things that ought to be entirely voluntary and subjective.  How else can it be special and hold meaning?  Giving ten percent because the Bible says so doesn't seem very much like accepting God's method of sharing but rather more like paying God for favors (see euphemism: blessings.)

    There are a few proverbs of Christianity that I have in my back pocket that seem to apply to every day life every time.  One of them has to do with giving.  It applies to our love.  It doesn't mean a thing without free will.  Of course it's implied that we do have the free will to give the whole ten percent or not.  But apparently we aren't given the free will and responsibility to calculate what we can afford to give and what we simply can't squeak by.

   One of the praise worshippers prayed after the last song.  In thanking God she said, "God you don't want our good deeds.  You don't want our stuff.  You don't want our Money.  You just want our hearts."

    Apparently she was wrong.  But I don't care.  I'm still more on board with her.  If God just took everyone's hearts ... he could see if people gave what they could.  He could judge them on a more personal basis.  Because if there IS a Christian God I don't want to think of him as an accountant.

   Anyone reading my post … put in your two cents.  Consider it an intellectual tithe.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Millington Baptist Church - Basking Ridge, NJ

While I was deciding what establishment to visit as the kickoff of my journey through the world of other peoples' religions I thought of the church where I was raised.  It seemed like an obvious starting line and my natural human impulse to be Mysterious rather than Obvious screamed out that I should not go to Millington.  Not now as part of this project.  Then I went.



On the car ride over I was nervous.  I wasn't sure how many, if any, people would recognize me and what I should say if they asked "And what brings you here?"  But I decided that I would use the simplest and most honest reply possible: "I'm searching."  I assumed that reason would be acceptable and expected as the main goal, I assume, of most spiritual establishments is to provide an object (tangible or not) that just such a seeker may come to discover.

No one asked me what brought me to Millington Baptist Church.  My reply was left unused.

My boyfriend and I entered MBC right on the dot for the second service at 10:45 Sunday morning.  On the steps outside I ran into a couple that my parents are friends with and they informed us that the sermon they had just attended had been "very good."  Inside, we slipped into the middle of a pew rather anonymously and the worship began shortly after.  Five men played guitars, keyboard and drums and sang their hearts out with eyes closed.  It sounded to me like the entire congregation was joining whole-heartedly.  The joy of singing was sincere and palpable.  I don't know if it was lack of sleep and the really warm temperature of the church, the pure enjoyment I get out of seeing music appreciated or the spirit of God Himself... but there were a few seconds during that worship time that some tears tried to escape from me.


Whatever magic was happening there ended almost as soon as Pastor Robert began his sermon.

The topic of that Sunday morning, January 9, 2011, was Sexual Immorality.  I started my exploration of an impolite dinner conversation topic with a church that chose to explore the only other topic that is MORE Taboo.  Needless to say, I must, for review's sake, reflect that this was not very inviting to a Newcomer.  To be fair, Pastor Robert made it clear from the get-go that he was aware of the harshness of his forthcoming words.  But, to paraphrase, he said that as the Bible is very clear on its views on sexuality, he will be clear too.

Pornography, sex outside of marriage and homosexuality were the major offenses discussed.

This is nothing new to the religiously initiated.

Just one verse from the Bible that is just that clear:

1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders ... will inherit the kingdom of God.

The sermon at MBC utilized a powerpoint presentation to demonstrate the turn our society has taken toward the debauched.  Percentages of young people either exposed to or exposing others to "sexting" was displayed in bold text.  The percentage of the population of different generations (from WW2 to whatever whoever has decided to call the youngsters these days) that believed pornography ought to be outlawed was shown in a graph which clearly portrayed the rapid decline of sexual morality in our culture.  What Pastor Robert was encouraging of the congregation was to remain pure in an impure world.  The church itself hosts a recovery program for sex addicts.

My ears really truly closed as soon as Glee was brought up as one of the top examples of how degenerate we have become.  One of the most popular characters is homosexual and another claims to have slept with every boy in the high school.  But in the show, it's clear that this claim is an insecure joke and certainly not a good thing.  I could go on about Glee.  Cause you just don't mess with that.

But all joking aside, I do understand that the Bible takes a clear stance on what is appropriate sexual behavior and what is not.  I do not blame Pastor Robert and MBC for sticking to what they believe.  In fact, I commend them for having a tremendous amount of nerve.  But I think they're very, very wrong, specifically when it comes to homosexuality.  I have several gay friends.  Ones who have been tortured by it, ones who have accepted it.

But not one of them would tell you that it was a choice.



You can choose to become a murderer and you can choose to become a thief.  You can choose what shoes you want to wear for the day and what you'll eat for dinner.  But you cannot choose your hair color or height.  You cannot choose your natural born talents.  And you Cannot choose your sexual orientation.

I understand that a lot of religions have this view of homosexuality and what they consider to be other sexual impurities.  Personally, I cannot adhere to any such view.  But I will try to be objective based on other aspects of the experience since each establishment's individual attitude can widely vary.

While I disagree with the sermon I listened to on Sunday, I do recognize that MBC's attitude was moderate.  It was neither warm and loving nor viciously damning.  It was firmly in the middle.  The belief is that continuing to live in sin will ultimately lead to death.  But coming clean (publicly, so as to have others who would keep you on track) and changing with the help of God would bring new life.

And new life is encouraged.

Introduction

I subscribe to no specific religious faith.  Although I was raised Baptist, I slowly gave up that belief.  There were too many questions that had no acceptable answers for me, too much hypocrisy, too much judgment, etc.  I doubted and still do.  But the good experiences I had and those I continue to hear about through others coupled with the vast presence of faith in the world around have made a mark on me.  You could say that I'm still searching for that feeling that so many others claim to possess: peace.

While I consider myself a cheerfully skeptical person when it comes to my ever subscribing (a telling word in itself) to a Religion I do remain hopeful that I will discover snapshots of Truth throughout this adventure.

Religion isn't polite conversation.  Everyone secretly obsesses over it at one time or another.  And opinions are often viciously varying.  I'm going to dive right in.